In March, we discussed the adoption process for birth mothers who choose open adoption. We understand that when you call us, you may not necessarily be ready to put your child up for adoption, but our counselors will work with you in a completely safe, no-obligation environment, helping you understand the process thoroughly so you can make the best decision possible for your child. If you do decide to work with us for a domestic adoption, it is important that you create an adoption plan because at A Is 4 Adoption, you are in charge. We understand the essential role you have in your baby’s life, and we will treat you better than any other adoption agency in California.
Making a Plan
We will work with you through the entire process, so you never have to feel alone during any part of the adoption. This includes helping you make a cohesive, comprehensive adoption plan for both you and the adoptive parents you have chosen. Things we will ask you to consider are:
- What you want in an adoptive family
- The amount of contact you want with the family
- How much you want to see or hear from your child
- Your plan for the hospital (see below)
Based on this information, we will find the best matches for your potential adoptive family, right here in California. Once you choose one, the next step is getting to know them.
Getting to Know Each Other
Over the course of your pregnancy, it is always a good idea to get to know your child’s adoptive family, as you will be a part of each other’s lives for years to come. In this time, you’ll be able to decide if this family is the right choice for your child, and feel confident in the decision you have made. There are a variety of ways for you to get to know the adoptive parents and family, but the key is to keep it mediated, at least at first. These are just a few suggestions for how to do that:
Mediated Phone Calls
Talk on the phone! Talk about your pregnancy, what you want for your child, how involved you want to be, and anything else that comes to mind. Keep in mind that this needs to be a loving, communicative, and cooperative venture between you and the adoptive parents, so make suggestions, not demands, and let it be a two-way conversation. Our mediators and counselors will help you and the adoptive parents throughout the entire process.
The same guidelines for phone conversations apply to emails. Think of this as a new friend you are trying to get to know, and you already have one of the most important things in your lives in common.
It’s important for you and the adoptive family to meet and see each other before the hospital. Visits at a location of your choice can help bridge this gap and build connections. We usually tell our birth mothers to choose a public, casual location at first so there is no pressure.
You should anticipate that your child’s adoptive family will want to be at the hospital when the baby is born. It is your choice whether or not you want them in the delivery room, and that is a point to consider after you meet them and before you go into labor. Other things to consider for your hospital stay include:
- Who you want at the hospital with you from your family
- How much time you want alone with your baby after birth
- Whether or not you want to leave the hospital with your child’s adoptive family
We understand that this may be a stressful time for you, and you may feel unsure about what you want to do. We will never pressure you into one decision, and we are always here for you to talk to about your baby, the process, any concerns you have, and so much more. Whether you know you’re ready to begin the adoption process or you still have questions, contact us today!