If you’ve been doing some research about what you need to know before adopting a child, then you’ve probably felt a little overwhelmed with all of the available information. In today’s post, we’ll look at the six things you need to know to help you narrow down the items that deserve your attention.
At A is 4 Adoption, we are proud to be your top alternative to adoption agencies in California. Our caring adoption center provides the help you need to pursue a private adoption, and we’ll answer all of your questions so that you can feel calm and confident throughout the process. Contact us today to learn more about how our center can help you grow your family.
1. The child is the most important person in adoption.
Sometimes the most obvious fact is the easiest one to lose sight of. While there are a number of people involved in any adoption process, the child is the only one with no say in the matter. Given that important item, make sure that you are committed to doing what is best for them. Sometimes that means that your adoption journey will not look quite the way you had envisioned in your mind. Whether or not things go exactly as you had hoped, if everything results in the child’s best interest, then that is truly what matters most.
2. Be prepared to offer appropriate support as they grow.
Health and Wellness Support
Once you know that you have been matched with your child, you can begin the work of locating a pediatrician who will provide their healthcare services and checkups. Talk with friends who have children to get their recommendations and advice. You can also check online reviews to see what others have to say.
Mental and Emotional Support
While children who are adopted as infants will not have a memory of their birth parents, it’s important to remember that they will still process the separation from their birth parents at some point. One of the best things you can do is to promote open, honest, and ongoing conversations with them so that they feel comfortable asking you any questions they may have. These conversations will also help you to see if it would be helpful to have them speak with a therapist who is experienced in assisting adopted children to process their thoughts and feelings.
Special Needs Support
If you know that the child you’re adopting has special needs, then you’ll want to make sure to have a team of specialists ready who can provide the appropriate mental, physical, or emotional support that they will need.
3. Parenting will be the hardest part of adoption.
There will be many documents, meetings, and other items to be completed along the way toward your adoption finalization. While some of these can feel a bit invasive and time consuming, it’s important to remember that these are necessary to ensure that the child will be placed in a safe, supportive, and loving home. Once all of these details are taken care of, you can get down to the challenging business of parenting.
One of the best pieces of advice we can offer when it comes to parenting is to be consistent. In the day-to-day shuffle of activities, it can be difficult to make sure that you practice consistency with the rules you’ve established. It is important to be consistent as much as possible because this will provide the framework that helps your child to feel safe and loved.
4. Seek adoption education and advice.
There are many things that you will learn just by living life as an adoptive parent, but we know that you’ll feel more prepared for the arrival of your child by taking time to learn from adoption professionals, adoptees, and other adoptive parents beforehand. Adoptive parents can share practical tips that may help you with future parenting as well as how to prepare for the adoption. You can find books and information both from professionals and adoptees that offer insight into the types of feelings and thoughts that you and your adopted child might experience.
5. Be honest with yourself about what you have to offer.
When you are considering adoption, it’s important to think about all of the possible needs of the child you plan to bring into your home and your ability to meet those needs.
If a child has numerous medical issues, will your budget allow you to adequately cover all of the costs?
Are you prepared to meet the challenges of raising multiple children if you’re adopting siblings?
It’s important to think through these and other questions carefully so that you can ensure that you are not committing to a child or children that you cannot adequately support. Don’t allow yourself to feel guilt or shame if you are unable to handle these or other situations. Knowing what you have to offer means that when you are matched, you will feel confident and ready to be a parent.
6. Attachment and adjustment are vital components of bonding.
Attachment refers to the process of the child identifying you as the parent and forming that bond between the two of you.
You can help your child develop a healthy attachment to you by spending time with them, cradling them, singing to them, and being a constant presence in their daily life. Healthy attachment is important because it helps your child learn that they can trust you and depend on you for their needs.
Adjustment addresses the need for your child to feel comfortable with their new family and surroundings.
Many families help their new child adjust to all of the changes by practicing a technique called cocooning. This simply means that they do not allow outside visitors or schedule activities for a period of time so that their child is not overwhelmed. While you likely have family and friends who can’t wait to meet your child, it’s important to communicate with them the need for this period of insular family time. This adjustment period will benefit all of you as you learn how to be a family together.
At A is 4 Adoption, we are proud to help couples grow their families through the miracle of private adoption. Our adoption center has placed many children with loving families across California, and we would love to help you. Call today to learn more about the process of private adoption.