Infertility may be one of the most devastating conditions men and women struggle with across the world. However, it is highly underrated, as many people don’t understand the impact it can have on an individual’s and a couple’s life. Many cope with infertility by going straight to an adoption agency, but this may not be enough for you to really heal. Our California adoption center is passionate about helping our adoptive parents truly experience the joy of parenthood, and this includes helping them through one of the most difficult transitions they may face.
How to Cope and Live a Full Life with Infertility
We’ve gathered some of the very best techniques for coping with and healing from the news of infertility from psychologists, therapists, The National Infertility Association, and couples just like you, who have struggled and made it through this trying time. These include the following:
Acknowledge your feelings and the situation.
- Recognize that your feelings are real and valid, and that infertility may be one of the biggest challenges you’ll face.
- It’s normal for you to feel loss, and you have the right to grieve.
- Don’t punish yourself for feeling sad and don’t try to “just get over it,” as if your feelings weren’t a valid response to the situation you are facing.
- Facing your emotions head on is the only way you can move past them.
Allow yourself time to be sad and angry.
- Sadness and anger are both completely normal responses to infertility.
- Don’t try to bury these emotions when they arise.
- When you have to fight your emotions to “snap out of it” every time you see a new pregnancy announcement or birth, you are wasting all of your energy.
- Give yourself time to cry or time to punch a pillow if you feel you need it.
Realize your partner won’t grieve or cope the same way you do.
- One of the largest mistakes couples make is thinking their partner doesn’t care (or cares too much). People cope differently, and it’s important to acknowledge that your partner is doing his or her best.
- Because people grieve differently, you and your partner should have a discussion about the best ways for them to help you. Whether you need to be listened to, left alone, or hugged, figure out what you need and communicate that to your partner.
- Listen to your partner when he or she tells you what they need, and do it. You may feel drained, but even these small acts can go a long way.
Remember you are your words.
- What you say has an enormous impact on your life.
- Communication is essential to healing, but so is positivity.
- Don’t let the “infertility talk” rule your every conversation or your life. Try to limit how much you talk about infertility in a day to a half hour or less.
- If you still feel you need to talk about a certain topic after this time, keep a journal. Writing down your emotions so you can revisit them later (either by yourself, with a professional, or with another support system), is the best way for you to promote positivity while still confronting your fears or emotions.
Find support and get information.
- Finding other couples who have struggled with infertility and broken through the pain is the best way for you to share your fears and struggles in a safe way, and for you to feel understood.
- Learning more about infertility, your options, and the normal responses will remove much of the uncertainty and fear from the situation.
If you need more help through this trying time, contact our adoption center in California today. We’ll do our best to find the resources you need to heal.