Seeing the Light in the Gray World of Infertility
As we discussed in our previous article, coping with infertility can be difficult, and the feelings you face should never be brushed aside or ignored. However, it is important to remember to stay positive when you can. Your attitude in any situation will determine how you heal and how your relationship with your partner grows to overcome the sadness, frustration, and anger of this struggle. Whether you are looking into an adoption agency in California after countless failed attempts to get pregnant, or you have just had your first experience with the dark clouds of infertility, now is always a good time to try to find a silver lining.
How Positivity Can Change Your Life
Emotions are a roller coaster, as you may well know. You can’t control them, and many times you shouldn’t try. Believing you need to just “get over” your sadness or bury your anger is unhealthy, and can end up making you beat yourself up for feeling the natural emotions of loss. Hiding your feelings, making them seem less important than they are, or blaming yourself for them can inhibit your healing and prevent healthy relationships with your partner, family, and friends.
However, you can control your thoughts and how you talk to yourself. Overthinking pregnancy, your situation, infertility, and the negative aspects of life will soon to have an enormous impact on how you handle the stress of your situation. On the contrary, positive thinking can not only benefit your mental health, but also your physical wellbeing by reducing stress, lowering tendencies toward depression, improving your immune system, reducing your risk for heart disease, and so much more.
Being positive doesn’t mean avoiding problems, running away from infertility and the negative emotions you may feel. Instead, positive thinking starts with seeing yourself in a positive light, not beating yourself up about a situation you can’t control, and approaching each new struggle with an “Okay, how do we fix this or make this better?” attitude.
Concrete Tips for Handling Infertility with Positivity
Identify and Redirect Negative Thoughts
We aren’t talking about negative emotions here. In fact, we encourage you to ride out your emotions. If you feel sad seeing a pregnancy announcement, don’t be afraid to cry. By negative thoughts we mean:
- “This is my fault.”
- “I’ll never overcome this.”
- “Something is wrong with me.”
- “I’m less of a person.”
- “My partner is going to leave me.”
As soon as these thoughts enter your head, redirect them with positive, truthful thoughts. The key is not to evade the issue, but to redirect the energy you spend thinking about it. Think instead:
- “This is not my fault.”
- “These feelings won’t last forever.”
- “I can find a solution.”
- “I am no less of a person.”
- “How can I communicate my feelings better with my partner?”
Don’t Fall Into a Rut
The easiest way to fall into a habit of negative thinking is to fall into other habits in your life. This includes cooking the same thing, having the same routine, thinking the same things, having the same conversations, and seeing the same people. Break out of the norm. Try a new restaurant, cook a new food, go on a different walk, seek out new people (preferably couples who have been down the infertility road), and find a new hobby you love.
Start Thinking About Your Options
One of the best ways to dissipate the dark clouds of the future is to look for the sunshine. Start thinking about your options, and the excitement that each opportunity presents. Many couples who face infertility and still want a family of their own turn to adoption, and at A Is 4 Adoption, we do our best to help you stay excited throughout the adoption process. Learn more about how we can help, and contact us today!
