In our previous blog, we gave a few tips for writing updates to your child’s birth family. While these letters are wonderful for birth parents to receive, it is also important to send picture updates as often as possible! After all, a picture is worth a thousand words.
At A Is 4 Adoption, we are different from other adoption agencies in California. Because we work intimately with both birth parents and adoptive parents, we are better able to provide for each family’s needs in a healthy, effective way. In fact, it is because we work so closely with birth mothers across California that we are able to understand and relay the information birth parents want you to know about updates.
The key to providing your child’s birth mother with updates is understanding that she needs to know her child is happy and well-loved in order to fully heal from the scar that giving a child up for adoption can often bring. It is also important for you never to forget that your child’s birth mother has given you your most precious gift, and she should be treated with the respect that role has earned her.
Tips for Sending Picture Updates
More is always better.
In an open adoption, you may only be required to send up to 10 photos a year, but we know you will take more than that. Your child’s birth mother will be the one person in the world who wants to see all 100 photos of your child’s soccer game or first birthday, so take advantage of that, and send as many as you feel comfortable.
Send more than your child alone.
While photos of the child by himself or herself are always nice for birth parents, they want to see their child interacting with family, and being happy with friends; they want to know their child is in a loving environment where they are happy and feel fulfilled. Send photos that show what a full, happy life your child has with your family.
You don’t have to stop.
Many times an open adoption agreement will include sending photos and packages only for the first couple years. Remember, you can always exceed these minimum requirements, and we encourage you to do so!
Include gifts from the birth family.
If your child’s birth mom sends a gift such as a toy or clothing, taking a photo of your child playing with the toy or wearing the clothes is a wonderful way to show your child’s birth parents they are appreciated and loved.
Don’t forget birthdays and other holidays.
Birthdays are a great time to get a professional photo of your child taken, and these are perfect to send to your child’s birth parents! This way, they can watch them grow as the years pass in a concrete way. In addition, holidays can be some of the most difficult times for birth families, particularly because it is a time for family. Don’t forget your child’s birth parents on these days.
Have your child draw his or her own pictures.
When your child is old enough, have him or her draw pictures or do crafts for his or her birth parents. These are wonderful keepsakes for any parents.
Send both hard copies and digital collages.
In this modern age, digital photobooks are simple, easy, and fast! However, many birth mothers love having hard copies they can frame or put in their wallets. Make sure you send a mix of both kinds. See Adoption.com for unique apps and programs that make digital scrapbooking a breeze!
These are just some tips for sending picture updates, but of course, you are the best judge! Do not force your child to participate any more than he or she is comfortable, but always keep in mind your child’s birth mother should hold a special place in your family’s heart. Contact us today if you need more resources or a support community. We are always willing to help.