Adoption is a miracle. However, there can be times when birth mothers feel frustrated and misunderstood, simply because an adoptive family didn’t know any better. At A Is 4 Adoption, we strive to be different than the typical adoption agency by treating both our California birth parents and adoptive parents with the respect and genuine care they deserve. In order to make the adoption process as smooth, loving, and understanding as possible, we have compiled a list of the things birth mothers want adoptive families to know, taken from the birth mothers themselves.
What Birth Parents Want You to Know
From Birth Mothers’ Perspectives
We Love ‘Our Child’
- We did not place our child up for adoption because we didn’t want him or her. We chose this path because we love our child, and want the best life for them.
- When we call our child “our child,” we don’t want to undermine your place as their parents. In fact, we love you for loving our child. Nothing can quite replace the joy we feel when you recognize that your child is ours as well.
- We hope you will teach your child about where he or she came from, and tell them how much we love them.
- Will we always see you as our child’s parents and nothing makes us happier knowing how much you care.
You Can Never Send Too Much
- You can never send too many photos, videos or letters.
- Instead of throwing away the thousandth crayon scribblings, think about sending it our way.
- Including us in group messages, emails, facebook groups, Christmas card lists, or even family events (if that is part of the open adoption) means the world to us.
- We love hearing about how you miss our child while you are away on business, or how much you love spending time with him or her. The warmth and love this information brings to us outweighs any jealousy we may momentarily feel.
Don’t Make Promises You Can’t Keep
- Whether this is before the child is born or at any point in their lives, don’t make promises you aren’t 100 percent sure you can keep.
- It’s okay to be vague at first until you figure out the ropes and how much you can promise and how often you can follow through.
We Don’t Intend to Disrupt Your Life
- We have spent many days and nights debating this decision, and while we may feel the loss from time to time, our calls, visits, or requests for updates are never intended to undermine your role or disrupt your life.
If you are an adoptive parent who is struggling with your relationship with your child’s birth parents, contact our experts now. We can help you get in touch with the right resources to help make the situation right and your relationship healthy.
If you are a parent seeking to adopt or a birth parent trying to find the right adoptive family, contact A Is 4 Adoption today! We are unlike any other adoption agency in the area, and will work to provide an experience you won’t soon forget.