Adopting a child is a life-changing experience. If you have been wanting to be a parent for a while and have now turned to adoption as your best option, you may have expectations that you don’t even realize. As with any major life change, it is important to have realistic expectations when you adopt, for your own sake, the sake of your future child, and the sake of your family. When you are working with an adoption agency in CA, here are some signs that you have not have realistic expectations about your adoption:
You are constantly worrying
If you feel controlled by compulsive worries about adoption, you may need an expectation adjustment. It is natural to have some concerns, but it isn’t healthy to let them control your life. If you find that your sleep, eating habits, concentration, work life, or relationships are being affected by your worries about adoption, it is time to get some perspective. Adoption is a process, and there is nothing you can do to speed it up. It will happen when it happens, so be flexible with the process. A new child is supposed to bring joy to your life, so don’t let your life suffer as a result of your adoption plans.
You are upset when you see a baby
It is natural to feel some jealousy when you see someone else with a baby because you are going through a stressful time. However, it is not healthy to resent people for having a child. If you are feeling extreme envy or anger at people with children, you need to check your expectations. You may have to wait a while, but one day, you will have a child too.
You view adoption as the solution to all your problems
If you have found yourself thinking, “everything will be better once the adoption goes through,” your expectations are not realistic. While a child can bring a lot of joy to your life, they will not fix all of your problems. If you are adopting with the idea that a child will get rid of your personal struggles, you have unrealistic expectations that are unfair to your future child and won’t help you either.
You think adopting will help your marriage
Sometimes, people want to adopt only to appease their partner or change the relationship they have with their spouse. If you are having marital issues, adopting a child will not help; in fact, the stress of raising a child is more likely to compound these issues. Ideally, a child will add joy to your family life, but they will not fix your marriage.
You have a specific image of your future child
Many people find themselves dreaming of the future and imagining a very specific image of what their child will look like. The truth is, you do not know anything about your adoptive child at this point. Putting expectations on your child’s appearance is setting yourself up for disappointment. Check your expectations around this issue now, and you will have a healthier relationship with your adoptive child.
When you are looking for an adoption agency in CA, A is 4 Adoption is an adoption center that can help match you with the right agency or birth mother. Contact us today for more information.